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First-year drivers, and anyone under 25, save yourself some trouble, take what I have learned through mistakes and years of living the reverse Boy Scout’s motto, and equip your car with these items in your first new or new-to-you vehicle.

I live in my car. Ok, not literally. That might make it tough to type this article. What I mean is… I spend a lot of time in my car. Forget the shower, driving is where I do my best thinking, singing to the radio, making up my own songs, and just pondering plans for the future. Through twelve years of driving legally, I discovered twenty-four items that one’s car must always, positively, never be without. These items are in no particular order of importance.

1. Insurance Card – Red and blue lights in your rearview and a siren means you have been stopped by the police and the first two items the officer will ask for is your license and registration. Keep a current insurance card in your glove compartment. Even if you have insurance, but accidentally left the card at home the police will have no mercy. It’s not worth spending half the day at the municipal court standing in line to get your ticket dismissed. Take it from someone who has learned the hard way.

2. Flashlight – My grandfather told my father to keep a flashlight in his car at all times and my father passed that knowledge on to me. Not just any flashlight will do, only a big a** flashlight that could be used as a billy club if needed. Not to mention the obvious illuminating benefits, you might have to put the beat down on a car jacker. You can you use it as protection if you ever have to make a pit stop at a roadside public restroom George Michael wouldn’t even frequent (see Google for 90s George Michael public restroom reference).

3. Batteries – What good is a flashlight with dead batteries? Strike that, there is still the aforementioned benefit, but batteries make it even better. Batteries are convenient to keep in your car not only for the flashlight backup, but also to replace the juice in a garage door opener or gate opener. Plus, if you get bored, it’s always exciting to put the top end of a fresh 9 volt to your tongue. Kids, do try this one at home.

4. Towel – I got this car item tip from “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” and it makes a lot of sense. You never know when you might spill your Super Jumbo Colossal Gulp and have nothing to clean it up with. Towels are very multi-purpose, it may have to be your blanket one night or a costume to crash an East Indian wedding party buffet. Get 20 more items inside!

5. 4 quarts of oil – Although you can buy these when you are getting gas at most stations, you never know when you will be on a long road trip, far from a station, and your oil tank’s little car port leak starts spurting like the La Brea Tar pits. Your engine overheats, and what was your bank account becomes just a fossilized impression of it.

6. Funnels – Life is no fun without funnels when you have to put oil in. Without funnels, one resorts to lower forms of funneling oil, like poking a hole in a Styrofoam cup or attempting to transport it by siphoning it through a straw.

7. White rag – This is for the self-administered oil check before adding more, or getting it changed, in case your mandatory towel is not white (which I recommend it not being white for the social unsightliness of multiple clean ups your towel will inevitability endure). You have to wipe the dip stick from oil in order to redip it, to see if there is oil present. That is what this white rag is for.

8. $5 in quarters – I have probably ran the toll half a dozen times in my life, and then lived in fear the weeks following of receiving a nice little action photo quite similar to the ones you see after you’ve ridden a roller coaster available for $19.95. Instead you receive this action shot in the mail along with a fine of a lot more than $20. I have been lucky so far, and have since bought a toll tag. Keep quarters around, and you will never have to have this fear weighing on your conscious.

9. Blanket—This is in case you ever want to get snuggly with your significant other, or go on a spontaneous picnic. There may be a slight chance, that at least once in your life; you will have to sleep in your car. “In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.” You’ll feel like royalty with a blanket, and a jester if you are caught without it one cold hotel roomless night.

10. Breath freshener – How many people actually carry a toothbrush everywhere they go? Don’t kid yourself. Get some minty chewables and keep them in large quantities in your car for the five minutes before the good night kiss that you normally would have planned for while hanging out at the house (maybe next time). Consume this mint very discretely. For some reason women think it’s too assuming when you toss back 3 or 4 mints in front of them (won’t make that mistake again). Ok, this isn’t a relationship tips article. Onward.

11. Deodorant— D.O. is not so much for you, but for others. Oh yeah, make sure you get the strong enough for a sweaty marsupial pouch, but PH balanced for teenagers and young adults brand. If you are a guy, also keep that body spray that makes a big group of girls tackle you as shown on those commercials. This will help give you a confidence boost to spray on yourself right before get out of your car.

12. Ice scrapper— You may not be used to hordes of snow and ice living in Texas, and this is where an ice scrapper is most important. Since people closer to the sun often don’t have to think about ice scrappers, along with adding snow tires, we’re stuck when the first unexpected sleet storm hits.

You end up having to waste gas sitting in your car for 15 minutes with the heat on, wipers going, and waiting for your windshield to be clear enough to drive, while you’re running late for work. Or you get impatient and take a dumb risk of driving with unmelted sleet on your windshield. Put an ice scrapper in your trunk, or a small one in your glove box and you’ll be glad you did.

13. Cell phone charger—This is actually the only type of charger I have for my cell phone. I do not have a wall charger at home. Typically I am able to keep my phone charged enough just by plugging it in on my way to and from the office. Not only is a cell phone car charger a convenience, it’s also a safety measure in case you are stranded and your phone is on its last virtual protein bar.

14. Hand Gloves—People in the north know this already. Your heater could go out and your hands are the most important driving control measure, but not much use when you can not feel them. Plus you get to feel more like a race car driver.

15. Spare tire – I’m not talking about what is going to form along your midsection in your not-so-distant-as-you-think future. Of course I am talking about the extra little tire commonly referred to as a donuts most cars come with, that you aren’t supposed to go over 55 mph hour while using. I have had to use mine several times over my driving career. This may seen obvious, but make sure it’s full of air too. I have actually busted a spare tire before.

16. Jack & racket set – These are mandatory tools for changing the tire, unless you are one of the special and privileged that can call a service to save you within a 50 mile radius for a yearly fee. I learned to change a tire in Boy Scouts 17 years ago and never felt right calling someone to do it for me. No one is judging you if you do call someone (wuss).

17. State Map or GPS – I used to never think either one of these were necessary. Many forget what driving directions were like before that special website came out that everyone uses. It took a few years for me to adjust, at least now I know what a “slight left” and a “slight right” is (hint: you don’t actually turn).

You won’t always have access to the Internet before taking a trip, or you may be sidetracked on a trip and at least know a general direction or highway. Pull out the ole’ laminated state road map and experience what traveling was like pre-Internet.

18. 3 or 4 pens – During my younger years, I can not tell you have many times I needed to sign a check late at night before depositing it into an ATM so it wouldn’t be overdrawn, and have been pen less. In order to get a pen, I would stop at a gas station and then feel obligated to make small purchase at as gas station in order to use their pen.

19. Jumper Cables – Help a friend or a stranger jump their car or help a friend or stranger help you when, inedibility, your battery will have a temporary failure. You can get jumper cables now and cut down on the learning curve, or get them after it happens. Believe me, one breakdown is enough.

20. Air Freshener – Cars smell funny, you do too sometimes. Make it stop.

21. Gym bag: shoes, shorts, shirt – Encourages yourself to work out by creating one less step and one less excuse between you and the gym. I have to quash all the excuses I can.

22. Plastic bag for trash – Unless you fall along the line of the more anal of personalities (Google Freud and anal fixation or wait till college), you’re going to build up trash in your car. Have the bag already ready to bag it up and ship it out.

23. Sun visor- These are a lot cooler than they used to be literally and figuratively now than when I was first introduced to them in the mid-80s. They aren’t as often made from cardboard with cartoon figures, and a big pre-cell phone era “Call the Police, This is an Emergency” stenciled on the back for those unlucky enough to be stranded.

Sun visors definitely cut down the heat absorption on your car’s interior (especially on leather). In the Texas summer, one of these can be your life-saver, or at least save you from quoting Yosemite Sam, “My burns are burning, my buns are burning!”

24. Sunglasses – These are a necessity in Texas when driving toward sunward. I’m a bigger sun glasses fan now than I was when I was younger, but at the time figured they really didn’t have much use other than the “make you look cool” factor. Within the last fifteen years with global warming and UV rays and all, I have changed my position.

Along with vision health benefits and cool factor they really do help cut out glare that could otherwise interfere with your driving. One pair of sun glasses permanently stays in my car.

I hope you have found these tips useful. Maybe they will save you a little time and stress.